Part 2- A Thoughtful Letter From A Doctor

Yesterday my blog post was “A ❤️ Letter To A Doctor”, it focuses on patient care beyond just the Medicine, a request to really see the person being treated and a belief that sometimes the impossible can happen in healing, with the right mindset.

Today I thought it would be great to share a Letter From A Doctor! Perspective is everything in life, this letter in is from a doctor who was very “Human Centric” throughout his career. “Bernie” or rather Dr. Bernie S Siegel, was a Pediatric Surgeon born in 1932, I believe he lives in New York presently. He is a well published Author and his books are incredibly written. They just may be more important now more than ever, as we are seeing medical systems and resources at their limit.

His writing forces us to take time to consider the system your doctor is working in, whilst navigating care for their patients.

Letter from Bernie:

Like most doctors, I have to try to remember that I am merely a facilitator of healing, not the healer himself—a frequent source of confusion for doctors! That's why I've asked my patients to call me by my first name. As Bernie, I'm a human being whom my patients and the people I work with can relate to; they will accept my being perfectly imperfect.

When no one expects the impossible of me, including me, that's an immense burden off my shoulders. But "Dr. Siegel" is a label that assigns me a fixed role and means I'm supposed to be perfect. I will inevitably be a failure at being perfect.

Because there is always the danger that I will revert to the old doctor roles, Gwen, one of the nurses in the o.r., often greets me by asking "Who's here today, Bernie or Dr. Siegel?" One day when I was Bernie, a nurse who was changing shifts in the middle of a long, arduous operation leaned over and kissed me on the back of the neck as she was leaving. That was an incredible gift to me. It gave me strength to go on, because it said so much about the pain and the love we had shared in that operating room. M.edical D.eities don't get gifts like that, because they're so aloof from everyone around them that they don't share anything. So now I try always to be Bernie.

Being human means you get to share a lot of laughter as well as hugs and kisses. One of my partners, Bill McCullough, who is a human being as well as a surgeon, was doing some rectal surgery and asked Maureen, the nurse, to shine the light on the asshole. She replied, "Which one?" Nurses like that are really an enormous help to us. They help us to deal with our pain as surgeons, they let us know they care, and, in case we forget, they remind us that we're human.

What is it about us physicians that makes us want to play God? Woody Allen says it's because we have to model ourselves after someone. Studies that have been done on the psychology of doctors suggest that we're trying to deny our mortality, for people who choose medicine as a career are often motivated by a fear of death. Every victory over death confirms such doctors in their feeling of power, and conversely, every patient they lose represents a profound failure, a dread reminder of personal inadequacy.

Curing becomes an addiction for them one that is just as destructive as any other addiction.

Since all doctors are bound to lose some of their patients, you can imagine how their sense of failure grows as every year adds to the tally of losses.

That's why I call medicine a failure-oriented profession, with its emphasis on disease rather than people.

END…

If you want to read more, I can promise these older books from Bernie are full of wisdom.

Again perspective is everything. Always remember when navigating with people in your care team, advocate for your health and remember all the various allied health ( including your doctor )can provide different gifts of health.

Just like one husky does not pull a sled, a team of them do to accomplish their goal.

In 1925, a relay of dog sled teams, including those led by the Siberian Husky Togo, delivered life-saving serum to Nome, Alaska, to combat a diphtheria outbreak. While Balto received recognition for his role, Togo and his team covered the longest and most dangerous leg of the journey.

Happy Thursday,

Danielle Pointon

Live Blue Consulting

Ps- my husky and I team up in water:-)